This morning there was a tiny little blow out at our house. I’ll skip the ridiculous details and stick to the larger story here. I’m tired, Daddy’s tired, and the kid is wired. Neither of us actually want to get out of bed, but one of us has to and we both think that it’s our turn to sleep in. If you have a toddler in your home this probably sounds familiar.
Anyway however it may happen, we all end up fighting with our spouse at one point or another. A lot of times you’re right, sometimes they’re right, but most of the time you both just forget about it and move on. Even though the latter is an easy path to follow, it’s not the best approach to having a mutually respectful relationship. So what do you do when you realize that you fucked up and were actually wrong.
1. Do something nice for them.
It doesn’t have to be anything grand. Small gestures work just as well if not more effectively. Something as simple as doing one of their least favorite chores or warming up/cooling off the car ahead of time would work. Do whatever fits their life and lets them know you care. For me, making coffee and having it poured works best.
2. Apologize for being a jerk.
Be specific about what you’re sorry for. Showing that you mean it is the most important thing here. ‘I’m sorry I threw away your favorite (ridiculously old) shirt’ or ‘I should’t have yelled, I was wrong.’ You can word it in whatever way works best for you, but just say it.
3. Ease the tension/Make them laugh.
Now that you both can see eye to eye again, lighten the mood. Doing this let’s them know you are both on the same team still. This can be attained in any number of ways. Quote a funny phrase from a movie or show that you both like, do a silly dance, offer to take them out for ice cream, or just crack a joke. How ever you go about it depends on your relationship, but just do your best.We generally make an enlightened joke about the said argument, but this may not work for every type of person.
That’s it, 3 simple steps to getting back on track after realizing a mistake. Best of luck to you in your future arguments, always treat your partner with respect, and never underestimate the power of ice cream.
Still having trouble coming up with the right words to say? Download and print these 6 simple apologies then tape one somewhere your spouse will find it. This could be anywhere like the bathroom mirror, fridge, steering wheel, coffee maker, front door, or you can just screenshot them and set one as the background on their phone.